Vision Board

I'm kind of obsessed with Rachel Hollis. (Author of Girl Wash your Face.) If you don't already listen to her podcast or follow her on Instagram, do yourself a favor and subscribe to both. Rachel spoke about how every year each  family member  makes a vision board about what they want to accomplish. It could be something very simple such as going on more date nights or something big like taking a vacation. I thought this was a fantastic idea so I decided to make one. 

It's obviously nothing fancy but it's things I want to do whether big or small. I put it up in our spare room near the treadmill so I'll see it often. Weight loss has given me freedom to dream. To get excited about trying new things, wearing new outfits, taking pictures, taking care of myself, the list goes on and on. I get excited to buy makeup again, to invest time in myself, not for anyone else, but for me. I feel like I'm worth it again. I haven't felt like  that in a very long time. It's about confidence. Not that being smaller is the only way to feel confident, people find confidence is different ways, mine is just in this form. But taking the time to take care of myself is what I love most about this journey. I don't want to sit on the sideline anymore. I want to show up for my kids and feel great about taking trips, trying new things, doing outdoorsy things even if they're challenging.

There's many things I want to change physically, but since I cant run out and get a tummy tuck or boob lift, I'll start with a chemical peel. Haha. I have sunspots and want them gone so hopefully in the next few weeks I'll get it done. I'll be sure to take before and afters. 

The biggest thing I want to accomplish this year is to meet my goal weight of 150 lbs. 34 lbs. away and it's only February. I got this! This is just a number. I might be happy at 160 or I might be happiest at 140. I just have to wait and see. Right now I just want to fit into a size 10. Currently I'm in a 12.

Ive always wanted to start a garden. Start small of course, but grow things non the less. Tomatoes and bell peppers are a must! I seriously don't know where to start but I'll do my research and find out. Another reason I love Rachel Hollis is because she's proof that regardless of what you want to accomplish, the information is out there, you just have to do the research. She built her company with a high school diploma and a google search bar. If you want to figure out how to do something, you can and it's free. You have zero excuses.

I've never gotten a massage before. I will definitely make this happen! I think my body has earned one :)

My BFF  and I made a list of things we want to do. Starting with a Winery. We want to try to get together at least once a month. Of course this is hard with work schedules, husband and children but we will try our best!! I plan to document our crazy excursions along the way!

A Tattoo! I already have one but am itching to get another one. Something to express overcoming obstacles and feeling free. Maybe a bird, I'm still thinking.

I'm sure some of you can relate to this if you're a stay at home mom.. making your own money. I want a side hustle. Nothing extreme or too time consuming because right now I take care of two littles and what spare time I have I dedicate that to working out so I couldn't take on too much at the moment but I always want that small financial independence for myself. You feel me?!?!? I need to start crafting again...

I know my list will grow. I love having things to work toward and look forward to. It makes life fun.

The Road to VSG

      "Something had to change." These were my thoughts as I once again sat at over 250 lbs. I had known several people that have had Gastric Sleeve surgery and were very successful in their journey. I decided to reach out to them and get the basic information to see if it was something I would be interested in. After every single person said the same thing "It was the best decision I ever made," I knew I had to look into it. I filled out the insurance check online to see if it was covered under my plan because I knew the cash price ($14,500) wasn't an option.

       Once  I received the phone call saying that the surgery would be covered under my insurance, I scheduled my consultation. I had no idea that the requirement's from the insurance would be so extensive but I guess they want to make sure you're serious about having this surgery.  From start to finish it took 4  months. I had my consultation in July and had surgery in November. I had to have Labs, Psychological Consultation, Nutrition Class,  3 Weight Management Classes and an Endoscopy. 

      At my consultation I weighed 266 lbs. On the day of surgery I weighed 206. Luckily insurance goes with that initial weigh-in or else I would have been under the BMI requirement which is 40. I went back and forth with myself wondering if it was even necessary to have the sleeve done. I was doing so well with weight loss on my own why wouldn't I just continue to do what I had been doing? Well, for two reasons: The first is I had been down this road before. I would lose a significant amount of weight and with the snap of a finger start gaining it all back. I would lose focus and drive and go back to my old ways. Whose to say this time would be any different? I would be done with my best friend's wedding  which was my motivation and once it was over I would say to hell with it. The odds of staying on track would be slim to none. The sleeve allowed me to not quit on myself. The second reason: When would I have this opportunity again? My out of pocket was met, therefore the surgery was covered at 100% The only cost I was responsible for was the anesthesia. After praying about it, I knew I wanted to go through with it. 

       Throughout the process I think the hardest part was the two week liquid diet prior to surgery. Protein drinks and broth isn't the most appealing when you're hungry. I did lose 15 lbs. but it was hard, especially because during my two weeks was Thanksgiving. My theory was, I have had 32 Thanksgivings in my life so far, it wouldn't  hurt to skip this one. Giving up the caffeine was hard too, I love my coffee. A lot.
        I'm now 10 weeks post op and weigh 184 lbs. and I feel great. The first few days were rough as far as feeling nauseous and having upper gas pains but medicine and walking helps with that. I had the surgery on  a Monday and my husband went back to work on Friday so I was back to my  normal routine by then. I was cleared to workout at my two week post op appointment. I had an initial fear right after surgery that I wouldn't be able to enjoy certain foods again and had that feeling of  regret because I was like "what did I just do?" But I can basically eat whatever I choose now. Some foods don't go down as easy so I avoid them. Mainly more starchy foods but that isn't a bad thing. Too much sugar or high fat foods can make you sick which is what I need anyways so I look at that as a blessing. My portions are smaller but not tiny. I still choose to eat clean because I am striving for a healthier way of life.
       I am excited for the future. I'm not  afraid that I'm going to gain weight back. For once in my life I have confidence in myself that I can obtain this healthy lifestyle. I can't wait to reach  my goal weight of around 150 lbs. I am proud of myself for losing the initial 80 lbs. but know having the sleeve is what will help me lose the rest of this weight and keep it off. It is a tool. I still have to eat the right foods and exercise.
       It's not about perfect. It's about effort. and when you bring that effort every single day, that's where transformation happens. That's how change occurs - Jillian Michaels